Betty George - 15/4/1941 – 27/1/2012 Funeral Service - Wed 1st Feb 2012 Altona Memorial Park (Service opens with Vivaldi Four seasons - summer) Good morning everybody. On behalf of Betty George’s family I would like to welcome you here today. My name is Ellen Spalding, and I am a civil celebrant who will be presenting this funeral ceremony, with the assistance of Barry and the staff from Simplicity Funerals, and it certainly an honour to be doing so today. Please note that you are all invited to remain here at the Altona Memorial Park following this service for refreshments in the room just on the other side of this chapel, where you will able to continue to share your memories of Betty. And I’ll just take this opportunity to ask you to check that all mobile phones are switched off, as a courtesy to the family, On Betty’s coffin we can see this magnificent display of 70 white roses. The White Rose is the ancient symbol of Yorkshire, Betty’s birthplace, and they remind us today of where she has come from. In acknowledgment of this beautiful symbol of Betty, her granddaughters, Samantha and Hayley, would now like to present their own gift of a white rose to their Grandma, so I ask them now to come forward. (Girls come forward and place a rose each on Betty’s coffin.) Thank you girls. Today is a very difficult day. We are here to say goodbye to someone we dearly love, Betty George, our mother, grandmother, partner and friend. We can try and hide away from the pain of this task, or we can remain present, with courage, with an open heart and with a smile, as we remember all that we loved in her. As Betty understood better than anyone, we can choose to travel through life fearful of the hurt which is part of human existence, or we can make the most of every moment we have been given, which, of course, is the path that Betty herself chose. Betty was a strong woman who created a good life for herself, despite an upbringing which taught her not to expect too much from the world. She was an independent thinker who took responsibility for her own destiny, and she never lived her life in the pursuit of trying to please others. Betty had been living with her illness for a long time with enormous positivity and determination, having first been diagnosed with breast cancer around twenty years ago. Throughout all of the time she lived with the disease, she never showed signs self-pity, but remained resolute about fighting on. She certainly always felt that she still had plenty to live for. In recent years however, it became clear that the cancer was advancing. In the last months, Betty needed some extra assistance and was admitted, on various occasions, to Mercy Palliative Care in Werribee , where she received magnificent care from the dedicated staff there. The Rodgers family, and Betty’s partner Ben, wish to take this opportunity to express their gratitude for the skill and compassion they showed in looking after Betty. Although she had a great wish to be able to stay in her own home, Betty was at the Mercy when she passed away on 27th January. However, this was not before she had made it to the family’s Christmas celebrations at Canterbury, which she had been absolutely determined to be around for, and no doubt there will be many special memories of her presence on that day that will remain with the family forever. Life Story Betty’s West Yorkshire childhood, imbued her with a no-nonsense nature and practicality and that was part of who she was all her all her life. You can take the girl out of Yorkshire, you can’t take Yorkshire out of the girl. She was born in the small village of Holme on the 15th April, 1941 to farmers, Joseph and Alice Tidmarsh. This was a time of wartime austerity and rationing, and things were fairly tough. Theirs was a rural existence, and Betty, along with her two elder sisters Mary and Ann, would have spent a country childhood surrounded by farming folk, farm animals and the lush green spaces of Northern England. Like most girls, they were taught basic craft skills from their mother, although it is clear that all three Tidmarsh girls showed an exceptional aptitude for this kind of work and were exceptionally creative and original. Whether it was sewing, knitting, painting, decoupage, or any other kind of handicraft, Betty was a brilliant creator of a many beautiful things throughout her life and her creativity seemed to know no bounds. Betty also had an exceptional singing voice, and she had ambitions to sing as a young girl. She would enter singing competitions around the country such as the Mrs. Sunderland Classical Singing Competition, which I believe she won. Indeed, a love of music is something that always stayed with her, and she had a passion for various music styles including Jazz and Classical. She was very fond of horses as well, and was quite an accomplished rider, even as a child. However, in West Yorkshire in the 40s and 50s, there was not much time to spend nurturing starry-eyed childhood dreams and ambitions. Girls of Betty’s generation were expected to head off to work in the textile mills, which is exactly what Betty did after she left the village school at around 15 years old. However, single life didn’t last long, and in 1958, Betty married a local man, Laurence Rodgers Hartley, and less than a year later, in 1959, she gave birth to her cherished son, Dale. Over the next couple of decades, Betty always tried to keep moving forward in her life, believing that, despite the limited opportunities given to her via her upbringing, she needed to make the most of what she had. In the early 1980s she made the big move out to Australia, arriving in Perth. It was here she met Ben, her partner of 27 years, and they embarked on a life together as loving companions, sticking together and supporting each other through good times and bad. Ben was transferred to Victoria with the RAF, and together Betty and Ben made the move out east. They spent some time in the town of Sale, and then spent many years living in the Werribee area. Ben continued to care for Betty over the course of her illness and remained steadfastly committed to keeping Betty comfortable, right up until the time she passed away. Always creating opportunities for herself whenever she could, Betty worked at various jobs over her life, including in a lighting shop and at Copperart, where her aesthetic flare and skill with her hands, would occasionally win her awards for the extraordinary window displays she created. Betty also had an entrepreneurial streak and did the odd market stall where she could make some money selling some of her wonderful craftwork. However it was her devotion to animals that really stood out as the central passion in Betty’s life. Her lifelong love, care and compassion for animals were an enduring part of who she was. In Australia she kept a horse at one time, but it was her dog breeding and showing which took up the majority of her energy. Betty bred a few different types of dogs, but her main interest was her beloved Miniature Dachshunds, which she was involved with for over 30 years. She won a mountain of Champion’s ribbons, including the prestigious “Best in Group” from the Royal Melbourne Show. Sometimes, she would bring handfuls of these ribbons over as gifts for Samantha and Hayley. Betty was a regular at country shows all over Victoria where she was a well-loved and respected figure with many friends. She loved a chat with other breeders and enjoyed the social aspect of these shows as much as the competitive. She was fairly recognisable too, as she owned a customised van in which she could combine moving the dogs round from show to show, with having somewhere comfortable to sleep for the night. This van, I think is quite a testament to Betty’s ingenuity, something she possessed in spades. Member of the Kennel club? Betty’s daughter-in-law Amanda mentioned something Betty used to say to her at times when Amanda’s work was getting her down. “It will be 5 o'clock no matter what happens”, she would say, which really reflected her extremely practical approach to life. Amanda will deeply miss this inspirational level-headedness, as well Betty’s wicked sense of humour, and the many big laughs they shared together. Betty had a real spark. She was a determined person and a modern thinker who believed that women deserved a chance to lead a meaningful life. She was intelligent, articulate and had strong opinions on things, which she was never afraid to express. Most of all, she was someone who saw the ripe potential of the present. She always strove to move forward in life, making the most of opportunities as she saw them. She loved her family, she followed her passions and engaged with the world. Betty was also incredibly generous, a proud and loving mother to Dale, and devoted Grandma to Samantha and Hayley. She would knit gorgeous little outfits for teddy bears and give them to the girls. She also taught Hayley to knit, which I think is such a wonderful gift to give someone you love –a gift that will stay with Hayley for the rest of her life. TRIBUTE I would now like to invite Betty’s son Dale to come forward. ----------------------------------------------------------- Dale speaks. Again, We would like to thank you all for attending at short notice. Incredibly, this is my first ever funeral, but I understand that as well as being a tribute to the departed loved one, it is also a time for people who know her to speak with each other, To take some comfort, and some inspiration from the persons life. Betty loves her family unconditionally, as all mothers and grandmothers do. She also had other families: family in England, her Pets and show dogs, her Dachsund club family. The special inspiration from Betty is live your life, perhaps if there is no tomorrow. As has been said, it’s not a rehearsal. Its Life. It’s Today. Living her life without compromise, Many people I spoke to agree, although Mum would say she compromised too much. • Whether its reinventing her life, changing her situation, moving on, moving to Australia. • Whether it’s telling her disease to go away, and designing and building a one woman, three dog motorcaravan to whizz off all over victoria to attend dog shows, to see her friends. • Whether its deciding during our visit to her in hospital, that she’s had enough, and she’s going Home right now and setting off on her wheely frame, (another kind of wheels) for the door with us and half the nurses trying to convince her otherwise. Life. Its not a rehearsal But I look around, and I guess many of you know that already, but it’s a good time to remind ourselves. I have spoken of her in the present tense, “People who Know her”and“Betty loves her family” I do realize, all too well, we cannot now talk to her or see her as we did before, We have a need to remember her, maybe a great moment we spent together. I personally have many such moments , but during my last real conversation with mum, In the mercy hospital, We shared a takeway coffee. I poured some into a cup for her, while I was thinking “heres a poignant moment” and she went Yeughhh – No Sugar!! I’ll think of her every single time I have a takeway coffee. If I need reminding at all. I hope you have a moment with her you can treasure going forward. I’m sure the moment will be golden. Thankyou. ------------------------------------------------------------ READING Betty’s daughter-in-law Amanda would like to pay tribute to Betty with a beautiful poem by Charles Henry Brententitled, She is Gone. You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her and only that she's gone or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. -------------------------------------------------------- Back to Ellen: REFLECTION (AV Presentation.) I mentioned earlier that Betty loved music. One of her favourite all time singers was Shirley Bassey and Betty always loved that fabulous big voice. Today the family have prepared a visual tribute to Betty and have chosen to accompany it with the Shirley Bassey song This is My Life, which seems to sum up Betty’s unique and gutsy approach to the world. Play AV Presentation CLOSING WORDS There was one thing very distinctive about Betty George, she was never a victim, not in illness, nor in life. Betty took responsibility for her own destiny and believed it was up to her to create her own opportunities. She loved her family and they loved her. She was a committed partner to Ben and a wonderful friend to many. Betty, you will never, ever be forgotten. WORDS OF COMMITTAL Could I now ask you all to please stand. The time has come to bid farewell to Betty George, in the knowledge that the once vibrant, living and breathing person who we knew and loved, no longer resides in the body that has been left behind. What does remain however, are our memories of Betty and all that she meant to us, and those memories can never be taken from us. Betty, your time on earth has come to an end, as it must for every living being. It is the natural order of things. I now commit your body to the elements from where it came. May you rest forever in the ultimate peace. (Curtain closes on coffin, Music is Pie Jesu by catherine Jenkins - Betty commented on this piece to amanda when it was sung by Hayley Westenra at the trubute for the Aukland Earthquake victims in 2011) May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rains fall soft upon your fields, until we meet again, Until we meet again. Thank you everybody, this marks the conclusion of the ceremony